Her Majesty is ‘tickled pink’ at the thought of her upcoming family birthday party.
We’re all looking forward to this coming long weekend, courtesy of Queen Elizabeth, who is celebrating her 95th Birthday on Monday. I suspect this year’s celebration will be rather low key, what with Harry and Megan over in California and Prince Andrew keeping his head below the parapet. Fergie would love to be invited to the afternoon tea party, never one to refuse a bit of free nosh, however she’s still not welcome in the Royal Fold, despite her scathing critic, Prince Phillip, now off the scene.
Andrew’s also not on the guest list, he’s rather miffed. Having trawled through his Little Black Book he’s made alternative arrangements and secured a second date with the journalist Emily Mathias. Their first date, last November, got off to an uncomfortable start, Emily asked too many questions and Andrew believed he’d over shadowed the evening by talking far too much. He plans to take her to Pizza Express in Woking, where over a low-key dinner, he hopes he can express his true self and show Emily what a genuinely extraordinary ‘gentleman’ he really is. (I don’t think the date will go well for Andrew, and I suspect he’ll come out in a cold sweat)
Harry and Megan have also been struck off the guest list. Harry has quietly acknowledged the snub, mentally adding it to his long of gripes. Megan’s sent a birthday card to Granny, along with a heartfelt letter, she’s keen to heal the family rift. The Dutchess has invited Her Majesty over to Montecito for a Baby Shower, along with a request that if Her Majesty isn’t too busy could she please knit some pink baby bootees. I don’t have inside knowledge but may I be so bold as to predict The Queen will ever so politely decline the knitting request, claiming she has a backlog of projects and it’s imperative that she completes a knitted full-face balaclava for Prince Andrew, who’s desperate to leave the confides of the Palace without being recognised.
All is not lost. The ever diligent and totally dependable Kate, is in charge of baking the Birthday Cake. Adorable Charlotte’s been given the job of beating the butter and sugar together and gently adding the organic eggs, George is sifting in the flour and Louis is licking the bowl and the wooden spoon.
Charles and Camilla are expected to drop in for a swift drink and a slice of cake. Charles doesn’t wish to hang around but Camilla’s got her feet firmly under the table. She’s planning to get her mother-in-law tipsy on sherry and has organise a hearty game of Charades. Camilla’s got a few ‘gems’ up her sleeve. Under the category of dramas, documentaries and TV shows there’s some ‘right royal pickings’…’The Crown’ a certain Netflix documentary, and a number of blockbuster television interviews from the 1990’s. Oh dear…I suspect the Party may not go too well and could turn out to be a Birthday Horribilis.
Now, on a far more serious note…
You may think I spend all my time writing rambling newsletters and lapping up the Royal Gossip. Not so, I do have a lovely little wool shop to run and I do need to do a little promotional work to ensure the till keeps ringing. However, self-promotion is NOT my forte, I am ignorant of many aspects of social media, preferring to delegate this modern form of technology to Claire and Olivia, (they are 30 years younger than me) I don’t take endless selfies, and the photographs I do take, and share with my close family members, result in hilarity and ridicule all round. (I can’t suck in my tummy, pout in the socially acceptable way and I don’t believe a photo of my morning bowl of porridge is quite as ‘sharable’ as an artfully arrangement image of smashed avocado on toast)
So, in my own unique way I would like to promote myself and my little store. I wish to share one of my own exclusive knitting patterns. Entitled ‘Harry… A Right Royal Hottie’, this simple project will certainly bring a smile to your face and is rather useful.
I’d also like to offer a 10 % discount on any purchase you wish to make over the long weekend…Saturday, Sunday and Monday. If you are calling into the shop, please mention you received my newsletter and I’ll be delighted to hit the discount button on my till!
Our online customers will need to enter the code Lizzies Birthday Party at the checkout, we’ll be sending all online orders out on Tuesday.
So, please pop your feet up with a cup of tea and read through our rather ‘tongue in cheek’ hot water bottle cover pattern. Joking aside, having a knitted cover for your hottie ensures that your bottle stays hot all night and feet stay cosy and warm. In my case it’s a real marriage saver as my husband abhors me poking my cold feet anywhere near him in bed. This nugget of relationship advice comes free of charge with this month’s newsletter.
Click Here to download the free pattern
'Harry…A Right Royal Hottie' is made by combining two yarns, Rowan Kidsilk Haze and Sesia Nordica. Knitting the yarns together is not difficult, once cast on, the yarns automatically stick together as one stitch. This project is especially suitable for a new, novice or nervous knitter and takes little more than a couple of evenings to complete.
I have suggested a number of rather lovely shade combinations, but feel free to be extra creative and choose your own.